Today we had to sign the verification slip for the subjects we will be sitting for in the A Level exams. This means that it’s the last chance to decide if I want to take S papers, unless I forfeit the money should I drop later. (Provided that I’m allowed to.) I really don’t know if I should continue taking S papers or drop both. S paper lessons take up about 3h per week, and that does not include the time I take to do the assignments. It’s not like my grades for my A level subjects are very spectecular either; I can’t even guarantee an A or B for all my subjects. In such a case, should I be spending time on my A level subjects instead of using it for S paper?

What I’m most worried about is that I will regret the decision I make, should it be the wrong one. Well at least now that Shi Leng talked to Mr Bek I know that I have until Monday to decide… must think about this carefully over the weekend. Decisions decisions…

Some people really have no respect for others’ property and just can’t keep their hands to themselves. At the beginning of the year all the students were made to wrap their tables to make them look better, and to ensure that there is less vandalism on the tabletops. However, tables in our classroom have been repeatedly vandalised by other classes that use our room. Today, after going to class for physics, I realised that someone drew on my table. Initially it was wrapped, but someone spoilt the wrapper so I removed it. Now that the wrapper was removed someone conveniently vandalised my table. Sheesh. What’s the problem with these people?! You wouldn’t like it if someone else vandalised yours, so don’t do that to other people’s table too!

I heard from some other people today that the school will be implementing banding for some subjects for the year 2s. I’m so against it. I understand that they have good intentions by grouping students with similar grades together, so the teacher will be able to better cater to the needs of their students. However, banding everyone means that we have to readjust to a whole new environment. New classmates, new teachers, new teaching styles, etc. With just 6 months to the prelims, I’m not sure if this is a very good idea. If they band us for every subject what’s the point of having our civics class then? It’s not as though the many forms of streaming we as students have gone through is not enough, banding just serves as another form of streaming, separating students based on their grades. Why are we being judged so much on our grades? Staying in our current classes does have its benefits too, and students stronger in a certain subject can help the weaker ones as well. If only there isn’t going to be banding… but if they really want to band us what can we do about it?! I really don’t wish for the class to be split though. Sigh.

I was really restless during lessons today. After not having proper lessons for 2 weeks, having to sit through all those lectures and tutorials today really sucked… I just wanted to sleep for half the time. -.- And tomorrow’s a even longer day… sigh.

He’s going into army in a few days…

It’s a bad idea to sleep at 3am when you have to go to church early next morning. When I was online last night Darren told me that he heard some stuff about fellowship, so he wanted to come over today and skip sunday school so that he could see how things were like. I asked him about what he had heard, and he would only tell me over the phone, so he called and we just talked about church stuff and he shared some of his thoughts.

He kept asking me questions about fellowship and the committee members, but there were some things I just didn’t feel like letting him know. Not that he can’t know because he’s not in fellowship now, but because I know he will be worried for fellowship and I really don’t want him to. And so we talked until 3am when I drifted off to sleep…

I was supposed to reach church at 8am today to practice today’s song time, but by the time I woke up it was already 8. I remember setting my alarm clock to ring at 7am, but either I didn’t set it properly or I slept right through the alarm. -.- So by the time I reached church it was 9.15am, which is the usual time I reach. But we still had time to practice and come up with actions for both songs. It was really impromptu, but nevertheless I’m glad everyone cooperated and we put up the performance successfully in the end. It’s nice to see everyone putting in effort, and I’m sure if every group had more time to prepare the whole thing would have run more smoothly. But maybe we can have some sort of concert at the end of the year? (To see some photos, click here. It’s a pity my camera ran out of battery halfway…)

Recently quite a few people have been asking me why I seem tired and stressed… like Darren, and Vanessa today. Then Wan Xin passed me a postcard today to encourage me… and when I read it I almost cried. The feeling of knowing that someone cares and will stand by you is just so comforting… and that just got me thinking. How many times have we forgotten to show some care and concern for the people around us? Sometimes just a simple word or a short note and make a big impact on someone. I really hope that we can bring back the warmth in fellowship.

让我听你的声音，
就像旱地接收久违的甘霖，
轻轻滋润我的灵魂。
让我听你的声音，
让我听你的声音。
在这压力重重混乱世界里，
请给我指引，因为我相信，
我们在主里会互相建立。

我需要你的言语
我需要你的鼓励
在我最彷徨时
牵你的手我更具信心。
我需要你的言语
我需要你的鼓励
让我在少年时，用心聆听。

我心门已开启，我会虚心学习。
我心门已开启，只等你回应。

让我听你的声音，
我心门已开启，只等你回应。

My throat feels so much better today, thank goodness. Hopefully it’ll fully recover my monday latest… it sucks having a sore throat! Chatting to Yihong on MSN right now… quite surprised that he said hi straight after I came on. Everyone in Australia seems to be enjoying themselves now, people are complaining that they are bored because of the lack of school work to do. -.- Man I’d gladly pay them to do some of my work! Sometimes I really wish I went overseas instead of going to JC; at least I’d be having a more relaxed time studying.

Today’s practice for the praise session during fellowship tomorrow was cancelled. Cong Kai called in the afternoon to say that only 5 people could turn up, so there was not much point in going down today anyway since the actions had to be taught and coordinated. I really hope that everyone will be on time tomorrow to practice, but somehow I have this feeling that people will be late and some of them won’t even have learnt the songs. Sigh. Sometimes I don’t know what to do about the younger ones. Seeing the group leaders having problems leading the group at times due to some of the younger ones not cooperating and all that, but I don’t know what to do. I try to help Cong Kai within my group, but sometimes it’s just… I know I’ve said this many times before, but I really miss the old fellowship… all the seniors and the atmosphere back then. I guess we just have to try to bond everyone no matter how hard it is, but at least we have some of the seniors back this year to help out. I’m really glad Yi Bin’s helping out for my group to. Hope tomorrow’s programme will go well…